Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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