he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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