Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
