He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
