ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
