What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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