She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
