This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
