Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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