Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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