where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
