She went from zero to smokin in five shots
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
