Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
