My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
