Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize