what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
