the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
