she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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