She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
