It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
