bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
