were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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