I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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