You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
