I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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