Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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