At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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