my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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