I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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