Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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