apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We need to get me chipped asap
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
