i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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