Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
