Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
