the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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