you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize