haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
