so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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