I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
