ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
