You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
