I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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