i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Randomize
