Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
zippers are such a cool invention
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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