i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize