I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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