And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Someone came in the potted fern
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
