RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
