I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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