it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
