We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
