Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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