I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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