And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
