we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Two words: nipple clamps
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