there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
