I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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