apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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