Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
