they need to just BURY HIM!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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