God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
