..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
