He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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