Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
