i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
